I have been in CDMX a little over a week now and I have $48.57 in my checking, and $20.58 credit left until my credit card is maxed out.  I won’t get paid for another 2 weeks, or 3 if it takes as long as last time.  I have been feeling flashes of anger and sadness over the girl I was dating for only 4 months, and its been two months since then.  I’m sure it has something to due with the fact that I never even dated a girl that long before and I gave too much of myself too fast and expected as much in return.  You really got to be tough in this world, especially if you’re sensitive.  People, even decent people, will punish you without meaning to.

  My friend and I took a 2 hours bus ride to Teotihuacan Pyramids only to find them closed to the public at 3 pm.  So, we took a 2-hour ride back and I went out with a girl from bumble, a Venezolana, that night.  It went really well I thought. I was speaking fluently in Spanish as we sipped fancy mescal and discussed the tragic state of Venezuela by candle light.  Then we went to a club to dance, we danced, we kissed, then she went to the bathroom around 2 am and never came back, left her jacket. I waited until 4 am and then desperately tried to dance with other girls to console me.  At first, I was worried about the Venezuelan, but when she blocked me both on WhatsApp and Bumble I figured she was ok, a bit sociopathic, but at least not drugged and left in a ditch.

   On Sunday as I laid in bed eating Panda Express and watching Avatar the Last Air-bender as I am wont to do with a hangover, I ruminated over the state of the world and the condition of young women, and not so young women today.  I started thinking like the religious fathers of old, worrying about how to put these wayward, disrespectful girls back in their place.  Was the natural “liberated” state of women inconsiderate?  Then before I got too puritanical, I tried to remind myself that I had not exactly taken a fair poll. Meeting girls in clubs or on apps is not exactly a recipe for fidelity.  But still, the overall lack of decency is noteworthy.  I try to be fair in my thinking so I reminded myself of the times I have been inconsiderate or hurt women.  It is easy to point out how another person hurts us, but we rarely realize how we hurt another.  Still I usually apologize for my actions.  But these unrepentant damsels man!

Oh well, I don’t want to start sounding too embittered and disillusioned after such a short stint of chasing tail beyond on the wrong side of a language barrier.  I guess it is better to be hurt than completely out of the game.  I will focus on improving myself so I am ready when a good one comes along.  I am just going to focus on working and writing and not focus on dating.  God, I sound like the female lead in a Romcom right before she has the big meet cute.  One thing is for sure: I am never paying for a first-date again.